I first got diagnosed with mental illness when I was 14 years old. That was seven years ago which is crazy to me. Since that time, I have been through so much during those fundamental years. I went to therapy consistently throughout all these years. I have truly learned so much. It’s to the point where I feel I am too self-aware at times. But as hard as those times were, the lessons I learned, the resilience and strength I built up, and the time/ work I put into bettering myself are things no one can take away from me. I am so proud of the healing I did and the time I took to better myself. The work isn’t easy. I realized not everyone looks in the mirror and finds out what they need to work on. But all that time I took to heal from the things I went through, have changed me as a person. I am more empathetic, compassionate, understanding, educated and sensitive to other people’s issues and emotions. I wanted to take everything I’ve learned and write a blog about it. Lessons I’ve learned while recovering from mental illness. I hope this helps you in some way.
It’s okay to say no to things— setting healthy boundaries is a form of self-care.
Learning how to set healthy boundaries is one of the most important things I’ve learned. Setting boundaries is a way of showing respect to yourself by knowing your limits and knowing when to say no to things. There have been times I have been invited out with friends or family, when mentally I was not doing well. Being able to respectfully decline the invitation to take care of yourself instead is so important and a form of self-care. It proves to yourself that your mental health is valid and important. If the people in your life do not respect your boundaries, that is on them and not you. Big picture –always put yourself first. You can’t be there for everyone else if you’re not there for yourself first. Say no if you aren’t well enough to go out. It is totally normal and healthy to take time for yourself and not feel guilty about it.
If all you did was survive today, you should be proud of yourself.
I distinctly remember days when all I did was survive. That might look like napping all day, leaving school early or just doing nothing all day. I would be down on myself for not accomplishing anything or doing something with my day. But you know what? There are days that are so challenging that all you can do is manage to get through the day. That is more than enough, and you should be proud of yourself for pushing through. Not every day has to be productive. Some days, you just need to listen to your mind and body and do whatever you have to do to get through the day. It’s okay.
You need to advocate for yourself. People care and want to help you.
I advocate for myself constantly. I reach out to people for support all the time. I learned that my friends, therapist, and family care about me so much and want to help support me. It is completely normal to reach out and ask for help from others. As human beings, we crave connections with other people, especially when going through something tough. You can’t go through hard times alone. My friends and family have been my primary supporters through everything. I am so grateful for my support system. I just realized I can’t go through this crazy life alone. You need to advocate for yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you. Ask for help. It’s the best thing I’ve done. I couldn’t have gone through all this alone. The people that love you want to be there for you. I promise.
You did your best with what you knew at the time; be gentle with yourself.
There are things I’ve done in my life that I wish I could go back to and change, whether it was how I reacted to something or decisions I’ve made. I learned that when you make decisions, you are using your best judgement with what you currently know at the time. Another thing to consider is when you are going through hard times, you may not be thinking rationally. You may not have the knowledge that would serve you best at the time. And that is okay. That is what life is all about. Making mistakes and learning from them for the future. You didn’t learn those lessons back then, so you can’t be down on yourself. All your past decisions have led you to where you are now, and that is such a cool concept to think about. Life is all about trial and error. We are humans; we are not perfect. My advice is to take past experiences and make the proper changes needed for the future. We are constantly growing every day.
You’re not going to hurt like this forever.
I would do anything to go back in time and give my 16-year-old self a hug and tell her it’s going to be okay. When you are so far deep in the hole of depression or whatever you are going through, it is so hard to ever think you are going to get out of it. My therapist explained to me that depression is like wearing foggy glasses. You can’t see what’s next to you or what’s ahead. And I totally related to that when she told me. You feel like you are going to feel this way forever. And I am here to tell you that just isn’t true. I can confidently sit here today and say I did not feel that way forever. I went from a place of not wanting to be here anymore and feeling so hopeless… to genuinely being grateful for the life I am living. Going through those dark times made me even more grateful for life. I don’t take it for granted anymore. I promise you won’t hurt like this forever.
Your emotions are not something you should be ashamed of; Your feelings are valid.
Our emotions like anger, sadness, anxiety and guilt can all have a bad association connected to them. I learned that no emotion is a “bad emotion.” For years I thought what I was feeling was either wrong or something I shouldn’t share with others. I was embarrassed at times. Looking in from the outside at that time, I had a great life. It was true, but at the same time, I was very much struggling with depression. I was ashamed of feeling depressed. I felt I didn’t have a “reason” to be depressed. Let me tell you something, you don’t need to have a reason to be feeling any type of way. When a person has depression or any other mental illness, they have a chemical imbalance in their brain. That chemical imbalance will affect your mood even if nothing else is going wrong in your life. Please don’t be down on yourself for how you feel. There is no emotion you should feel ashamed of. All your feelings are valid and important.
A diagnosis does not define you.
I remember when I first got diagnosed with Bipolar and ADHD. It is a lot to take in, especially when you are young. I remember the feeling of these illnesses defining who I am. And I had to learn over time that one diagnosis does not define who you are as an entire person. I took a step back and realized that I am a daughter, a friend, a granddaughter, and a sister. I am a girl that loves working, hiking, shopping, going to coffee shops and writing blogs! There are so many parts to me that make me who I am. “Bipolar disorder” is not who I am. It is definitely a part of me, but not what defines me. And when I accepted that, it was a turning point in my healing. I felt free of my diagnosis and wanted to now find what makes me… me. For years I let it define me, and I couldn’t be happier to let that go.
Life is all about going along for the ride. Life isn’t meant to be easy unfortunately. We must take our experiences and turn them into life lessons. Those lessons are carried with you forever. Even though I have gone through hard times, I wouldn’t have changed it. I learned to appreciate and accept the struggles I’ve been through. It completely shaped me into who I am as a person. I honestly have no clue who I would be if I never struggled with mental illness. I was angry at it for a long time, but I’ve come to a point in my journey that I am accepting it. I feel bad for my past self, but she’s the reason I am here today. And I thank her for that. Changing my perspective on this and appreciating the lessons learned has helped me in my recovery. Start healing now. It’s not easy at first, but you will appreciate it later. I hope this blog can help open your eyes to these lessons learned in life. Keep working on yourself—it is a never-ending journey.
