Your early 20s is such a beautiful yet challenging time. It’s a time of discovery with a lot of trial and error. There is this pressure on us to have everything figured out. Having a set career, finding a place to live, being financially stable, having a social life, finishing college/ having a degree, and knowing what you are going to do for the rest of your life. In my opinion, I don’t think any 22-year-old really knows what their future looks like. They might have an idea, but no one truly knows. The pressure that is put on us can be overwhelming and stressful. This pressure has affected me a lot.
Finding a Career
I have personally felt the pressure of having my career all figured out. I didn’t go to college because it wasn’t for me. Right after high school, I jumped into the workforce. I’ve always worked since I was 14, and I am very work driven. At the same time, however, I have no idea what career I want to go into. I have tried different jobs to figure out what I like or what wasn’t a good fit for me. It can feel defeating when you try something, and it doesn’t work out. I have experienced this myself. I had to rationalize that I tried my best and should be proud that I gave it a chance. When you are in your early 20s, you need to try new things to figure out who you are. You never know until you try. You can’t beat yourself up if you try working at a new job and it isn’t a good fit.
When it comes to work, you need to be somewhat happy with what you are doing. No job is perfect. But when you wake up in the morning, you should feel good going to work every day. You likely spend 40 hours per week at work; it’s a big part of your life. But figuring all of this out in your early 20s can be stressful. News flash – no one really knows what they are doing. It may look like it on the outside, but trust me, you are not alone. Finding a career takes time, and there is no rush to “know what you are going to do for the rest of your life.”
Having a Social Life
This time in our lives can feel very isolating. I learned that it’s difficult to make friends in your early 20s. When I turned 20, my friend group fell apart, and the few friends I had were away at college while I was home. At this point of my life, I felt so alone. I would see people on social media going out with their friends while I sat in my room on Friday nights. There is a pressure on us to have a social life. These days when we turn 21, going out on weekends is what a lot of people do. I am telling you that it is okay to spend a weekend at home with your family. There is nothing wrong with that. But at the same time, I completely understand that this dynamic can also be hard. I had to stretch out of my comfort zone to meet new people and create a new social life for myself again. I met a lot of my friends through work because in my eyes, that was the easiest place to find people my age to hang out with. If you are feeling lonely, my advice is to really put yourself out there. I met one of my best friends while I was at work. I was working at Starbucks at the time, and a girl walked into the café. We immediately started talking and clicked right away. She came into the café again and asked for my Snapchat. We hung out, and she became my best friend. So maybe next time you are at Starbucks, ask the Barista for their Snapchat if you’re looking for a new friend! I created new relationships and created a new social life for myself. I realized that my new relationships are so different than the ones I had when I was a teenager. I have grown up and matured. I look at my friendships in a different way. I value my friends so much. I created a balanced social life, and I am so much happier. I still struggle though when I see my friends go out while I’m home. But it’s all about balance. Definitely go out and live your life while you’re young, but it’s okay if you don’t go out every weekend.
Self-Discovery
In my experience in the last few years, I have really done some self-discovery. We grow up sort of being told what to think as children. We are told what to do and don’t really make a lot for choices for ourselves. When you turn 20, that all changes. You really become independent and are figuring out who you are. What your values are, what you prioritize, your interests and who you are as a person. The responsibility you take on is also a lot. When I turned 20, I bought my first car, worked 5 days a week, paid my bills, and started becoming very independent. Through all this independence and therapy, I really started finding out who I am. So far, I’ve realized that I value my happiness, genuine relationships, my physical health, living a balanced life, and freely thinking for myself. I also had a realization that I want to live my life. I want to prioritize traveling, going to concerts, going out, making memories, and living life to the fullest. I think being in tune with your self and what you need/want is so important. The biggest part of all of this is putting yourself first. It’s okay to be selfish. The biggest things for me are my happiness and putting my mental health first—always. Life is too short to be in situations that make you unhappy. No one deserves that. I spent all my teenage years unhappy, and I told myself this next chapter of my life will not be like that. I’ve done everything in my power to be happy and live a purposeful life. Having a purpose on this earth is another big value of mine. Being in your early 20s is difficult because this self-work is not easy. You really need to look in the mirror and see what you need and what you need to change. It’s hard but necessary. Growing is a huge part of this time of our lives. Start working on yourself.
I don’t think people talk about these things enough. In my personal experience and seeing what the other people in my life also go through, I realized so many of us go through these adjustments. We are just young adults trying to find our way in this crazy world. A lot of these things we must learn on our own. Making mistakes, trying new things, and taking risks. None of it is easy, so be gentle with yourself. Remember you have gotten through everything that’s been thrown your way, and you will figure this out too. I have the mindset that you are young and just live your life. Do what makes you happy and have fun. Obviously, be responsible as well, but you are only young once. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You got this—and you are not alone.
