In life, we experience change constantly. It’s inevitable. Nothing ever stays the same. Friendships, jobs, living situations, going off to college, divorce, medical diagnoses, moving, etc. Things don’t always go as planned. Life just happens sometimes, and we must adjust. Some change is more extreme than others. For example, a smaller change could be switching friend groups at school. A major life change is switching careers or job roles. This can cause a lot of anxiety and make us feel uneasy. It makes us feel this way because it’s all unknown. What if I don’t like it? What if I made the wrong decision? What if I hate it and I am unhappy? Our minds race and overthink in situations like this. This can be extremely overwhelming. It’s not a good feeling.
I just recently had some big life changes. I just turned 21 and changed careers this past October. That all came with a lot more adult responsibilities that are all new to me. I was jumping into something I’ve never done before. I was terrified. I had all those thoughts that I mentioned. I was sad, anxious and was scared I wasn’t making the right decision. On top of that I was also very sad to leave my old job at Starbucks. That was a big change for me as well because I absolutely loved that job. And I just want to say, this is all perfectly normal to be feeling this. I struggled, but I managed these feelings well. I want to tell you how I did it. Hopefully, this can help you.
Communicating your worries / journaling
Any time I go through a big change, I make sure I am communicating and advocating for myself with trusted people in my life. This is so important because we need support when going through a change. I prioritize therapy. I am open with my therapist, listen to her advice and try my best to rationalize my thoughts. I am also open with my family and close friends. I remember when I was very overwhelmed with the recent change in my life, I sat in my room with my best friend and just cried. She was a shoulder to cry on. Her being there showed me I wasn’t doing this alone. That feeling of comfort helped me so much. As humans we crave that.
Journaling during big changes is huge to. What worked for me was just trauma dumping in my journal and writing out all my worries. Sometimes getting all your intense feelings on paper can be so relieving. I then turned those worries into thoughts about what positives can come from this. Unknown situations are such a beautiful thing. Anything is possible. What if you meet a new best friend along the way? What if this turns out to be the best decision you made? What if this is what you needed to grow and become the best version of yourself? What if! That is such a cool thing; we need to reframe our anxiety. Unknown is scary and it’s also a great/needed thing. Get all those feelings onto paper; I promise you it will help calm you down.
Going with the flow mindset
One quote I love is, “Everything happens for a reason.” This quote brings me peace. When you have this mindset, you know that whatever is supposed to happen will be. Your story is already written out, you just got to live and experience it. Even if what happens doesn’t go well, you probably learned a lesson that you needed. Good outcomes can come from bad situations. Being uncomfortable is the only way we grow. When I am faced with a life change, I think to myself, “What is the worst thing that can happen?” You hate your new job… find a new one. You took the chance and moved across the country but hate it… move back home. You broke up with your boyfriend… he’s not your soulmate so now you can find who is. Nothing in life is that serious. I spent so many years struggling with debilitating mental illness. I don’t have the energy to stress about life anymore. I just go with the flow. After I embraced this mindset, my anxiety got so much better. I wasn’t having as many panic attacks because I realized these things are not worth getting mentally and physically sick over. Everything will be okay; it always has been. You’ve gotten through every struggle that came your way. You can always face a new one. You are strong. Remember that.
Being okay with not being in control
We are not always going to be in control of changes in our life. Some things we just don’t have a say in. Let’s say there was heavy traffic, so now your late to an event. You couldn’t control that, and it was a change in plan. Okay… you still got there, and everything was fine. One great quote is, “Things can go well even if I am not in control of them.” It all goes back to that feeling of unknown. Unknown does not equal bad. It’s totally valid to feel anxious in situations that you don’t have control over. This is a normal human reaction to situations that make us uncomfortable. But what we can do to counteract that is to rationalize our anxiety. When we are anxious, it is typically the extreme scenario we allow to take hold in our minds. Our anxiety can lie to us at times. We can tell ourselves that even if the worse scenario happens, we can and will get through it. We already know that. So, this should bring you some sense of comfort. Be gentle with yourself. Do your best to control your worries and be okay with the present situation.
Change is one of the most beautiful things. All my personal growth has come from change. I recently had a lot of change in my life, and it has made me so much stronger. I got out of my comfort zone and hung out with someone new. That person came into my life and changed it in the best way possible. Now we are best friends. I changed medications and it ended up being the right one for me, and I feel so much better. My best friend just moved 200 miles away which sucked and was a big change. But we talk every day. When I see her in person, it is so much more special, and our friendship has grown so much from this. I changed my financial situation and bought my first car. I also completely changed my eating habits, recovered from an eating disorder and lost 51 pounds this past year.
With all that being said, it is extremely scary. Putting yourself out there is hard. Taking the risk is terrifying. Making the switch is tough. But that is what life is all about. Nothing will remain the same and that is okay. We must accept this to be happy. I hope whatever changes are happening in your life are going well. You got this!
